So drunk its hurt
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
