Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
