It's like God shit irony all over that family
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
