I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize