I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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