I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
