I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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