Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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