I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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