there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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