Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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