thus making me awesome and them whores
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
