You really coming over, don't trick.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
