Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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