Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
