You smell like a Billy Joel song
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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