i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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