Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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