Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
