I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize