I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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