I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
