your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
