I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
