They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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