Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
