hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
