so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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