Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
