you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
