why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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