I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
