Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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