The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
