I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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