haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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