It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
