i jhust puked up my retainher.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
