he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
