that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
