Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
