I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
