Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize