Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
