U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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