Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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