I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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