Where did you get a picture of my penis
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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