i permit you to call me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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