i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Vodka?
Forever.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
