so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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