Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
