You surviving the open bar?
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I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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