And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
