Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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