We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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