So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
