That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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