i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
