As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
