I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
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Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
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I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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