now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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